Oh My Mother – erofeb eht llac… 

You don’t now but eventually you will, you’re not gonna know it but it will come maybe not today but soon, you’ll see! 
My cousin’s words ran as we sat on the couch chitty chatting. My mother passed on after battling first arthritis for so many years, but it was recently (two years ago) that everything intensified taking different dimensions from two of her discs crashing to having multiple fractures on her arm and femur. 

My mom had two surgeries within a year and for her age (approximately 75-85) you can tell what effect that would have on her. But anyways my mom fought hard like a soldier after the first major surgery (lumbar laminectomy and disectomy). Her Physio therapist (McMillian)  was amazing and mom picked up pretty fast using a walker and within a few months could move herself round the spacious living room without help, she could stand herself and even go to her bedroom alone. But all that came to an end when she fractured her arm. She became scared and that slowed her recovery and even when the arm eventually healed she could barely rely on them. 

In a little over two months after the arm, she again had a broken thigh bone and well complications set in after the second surgery to repair the femur and on 22nd April this year, she passed. God rest her soul. 

In these two years I watched my mother’s health deteriorate and it was like I could see her vanishing into the dunes, sometimes you think the blurry image is becoming clearer until you realize it’s just one from your head; your wishful image of her hoping she gets better.

In the first month of her illness, I got so scared and the thought of not coming back home to meet my mom only brought tears to my eyes and I could barely hold them back. I cried as soon as I got back to Lafia, I couldn’t be a man that day sitting alone in my room. I never saw my mom on a sick bed in all my years and suddenly loosing her? The thought of it I couldn’t bear, and somehow I began to get used to it and all I resolved to was prayer which soon took away all the depression I felt at the time and with that I thought it wise to spend more time with her instead (and I’m glad I did that). 

I got news from my sister about three days before her passing that mom was spinning and couldn’t recognize her again, her condition was declining fast and asked for me to come home… I couldn’t face it, I was home just the weekend before and I was at the hospital with her the whole time and it was such a beautiful moment; we had a great time together, but I wasn’t ready to ruin all that so I stayed back. It was like I saw it coming though you know that feeling of it might or it mightn’t? I had that for some inexplicable reason as I gazed at my mom, it was a strange feeling this time; it was different. I could tell it was our final moments but didn’t know how to come to terms with it, didn’t know whether or not to believe it I was confused really, so I said my rosary just like she’d tought me. 

That evening I was outside talking soccer with my neighbor but all I thought about was my mom, I tried to calm myself down but all that would go south and in just about five minutes, a call came through… Emma… Mama’s gone… 

Advertisements

3 Comments

  1. I’m liking this beautiful post not because of the content, but the fact that you’re courageous enough to share this segment of your journey in life.

    This is such a beautiful picture of your beautiful mother.
    I don’t know the pain of losing a parent, so I’m sure I can’t really say words out of experience. But what I do know is, God’s ways really aren’t our ways. I’m going to join with you in thanksgiving for the life mama lived.

    I mean, look at you, a fine young man, disciplined, caring, thoughtful and wise. Her legacy will live through you forever, Groomsman.

    Whenever the down times come, allow them to take their course, but if you ever feel the need to talk to someone, anyone about it, I’m right here. If you ever want to share the good times too, I’m right here.
    Oh, no one could ever replace your mom, ever. But if you’re welcome to share mine with me. There’s always Sunday rice, some gote or even water to drink around my mother.

    May mama continue to rest in glory.

    • Awwwe… Thank you so much for all the attributes and such warm words. How lucky and blessed I am to have beautiful people like you around me, and then sharing your only mom with me? What more can I ask for? Thanks for being there Rookie Bee, I know those down times will come someday, but at least I know where and who to lay my head on when I can’t hold back the tears. Thanks a lot ko and please tell Mama I soon will be coming for that Sunday rice and gote… Lol. And again I think God took the pain away a long time ago. He is super awesome.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s