I love friends, I have real ones some I even see as my brothers, like we share the same blood, but some again I’m not sure I can say the same or even vouch for.
I have been quick to trusting folks I just met (which has caused me much over the years) but ever since the last one, I’d been forced to build protective blocks around me so I don’t end up in the hurt locker. Sometimes I look at what a few dudes I consider close do and I ask, would I act or do same when placed in the same shoes? And the answer is… Nah I don’t think so.
Now I’m not trying to proclaim being self righteous or anything but there are things I just can’t outrightly do, and betraying a trust is one heck of a line I try hard not to cross.
I met quite a few folks like recently, say we’ve become friends over a period of say a year and a half and I’ve tried to be open enough to all of them when we started, but things are kinda rough on the edges, can’t say we are as close as we used to cos it’s like everyone’s been forced to get back into his shell and carefully map out a strategy for dealings with each other (I think that’s sad). Normally, I give every person the benefit of doubt until you prove me wrong for trusting you, doesn’t matter what everyone thinks of you cos I believe people could change.
These are folks I’d have (and have) taken a bullet for without doing a Best/Worst Analysis, and I thought one actually stood out… Maybe I was wrong, but I’ve come to realise that that’s the amazing thing about humans, we could be so unpredictable and that’s what makes us the name we are – humans.
I wish we didn’t have to be self-centered all the time, like to let you have the best shirt, its OK if it makes you happy cos having the not-so-kool shirt won’t make me sad either, but why should I always ‘want’ the best shirt? Is the other person any less of a human than you? Was he born to only have bad stuff while you cruise in your dazzling spaceship? Common people; friends, why are we soooo…? Maybe I was like that, but I think there should be a time when all that should’ve been thrown off, like when you start growing beard you know it’s time to grow, otherwise you might end up dragging a piece of meat with your two year old son… That’s ridiculous, really. You don’t care if what you do jeopardizes our friendship and as long as you have your way there’s no problem at all, after all he’s a good guy he’d forgive me and life goes on. Well yeah I’ll forgive you and again life goes on but hey, maybe you don’t understand the word “friendship”, or maybe my own understanding of the word is quite different from yours; or better yet maybe we come from two different worlds…
You’re doing this and I’m looking at you from the window pane like, seriously? You gotta be kidding me… Never expected it, you? How could you even try? Did you listen to yourself before taking that step or did you just say to heck with him, I don’t care what that means to him?
I wish you could see the bigger picture and maybe… you could see me there!