The Bachelor… My Emmaginations

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In my imagination, I see me painting that master piece and hanging it on my wall; I see me having that album out and people talking about it. Again I see my book in the book store with her just dropping by to pick it up. I see me walking up the podium to grab that Grammy, I see… ok now maybe I need to stop here before we write a whole book about my imaginations.

So many things I wanna become wand quite often I ask myself, can I really become those things someday, like can I actually get to see those dreams take shape??? I mean yeah I’m not married just yet but in about a few years away I’m not sure if I can still be saying that. I’m not married? Huh, I’d be like tell it to that young man sitting over there… lol!

If anything, I’d love to achieve those things before I actually bring her home, that’ll surely be a wonderful roller coaster, and maybe while arguing with my wife I’d be like nah cut the slag, I had that painting before we got married, or that I’d dropped that album or written that book shortly before/ after I met you… stuff I really wish could happen.

Getting married though they say comes with its own sheer of responsibility and demands. It then means that if as a bachelor I could use say five hours in a day to run some personal bits and bobs, getting married could give me a lil over just an hour or two at most, or maybe I’ll look at it from a different angle, maybe getting married could give me some more hours to play with. What happens when she’s in the kitchen trying to cook or do the dishes or even when she’s trying to fix the house I wonder? Cos last time I checked I was doing all that stuff by myself and still got five hours. Hmmm… But how would I know? I’m not married!

Or should I say that my sleeping time’s gonna be cut by half? I’ve never known mom to sleep pass 4-5: am in the morning she seldom does that, but does it apply to dads too? Again I wouldn’t know; I never had one!

We’ll get to know that soon enough, maybe when I get married, but until then hehe… It’s still me mehn, the bachelor… (

FEAR

Trying to conquer fear’s been one of my biggest and greatest weaknesses and the subtle reason behind my procrastinating to things now and again. I kinda let it consume me locking me up in a box left to suffocate until I manage to pull myself out somehow. Albeit it knocks me off and gets the best part of me even before I realize it. And each time I finally get to outrun it, I often feel great and I’d be like, was that all that it was to it? Why then was I so scared in the first place? pssst!!!

And isn’t that the way with fear all the time? You let it clad you allowing the stronger you remain locked inside, concealed. Just like cladding a building made out of concrete with glass giving it that wow effect and fragility so when people see it they be like, “this building’s made out of glass”, it’s so cool… well think again ‘personas’, try shattering it and just maybe, you’ll see the real thing -concrete.
 
DON’T GET COMFORTABLE… With Fear

Fear unlike money isn’t one to get comfortable with, coz the moment you let that happen, you become numb; dumb until you stop growing. You ever wonder why you always have to keep updating the database of your antivirus? Being comfortable is installing the antivirus and that’s it, no further updates ever again; and your system will crash at the plugging of an infected flash drive with the newest virus in town, or it’s like the scientists saying we have too many diseases and outbreaks to deal with (ebola dey town oh…) so no further researches, and countries won’t even need to get belligerent for any reason coz for sure, we have a killer in these viruses. Thus, to obliterate coziness, we must therefore learn how to not get comfortable or better yet, learn how to snap out of it real quick and also being sensible enough to realize it when we’re beginning to get comfortable.

I’ve tried a few tricks myself by saying the words out loud “don’t get comfortable” and it seems to be working, it’s simply telling me that dude! You don’t have any prerogatives to remain here, knock yourself out.
 
DO YOU HAVE A K.O (Knock Out)?

Here’s the thing, whenever I find myself sleeping long hours through the night, wake up in the morning and I’m like darn! I can’t believe I’m late for work again!!! It simply means that sleep has managed to lurk in somehow and there’s something I’m just not doing right.

Sleeping off coz you worked excessively a day before or that you didn’t sleep well the previous night coz you kept busy is pretty normal and excusable, but when you sleep off out of doing nothing? Then we got a problem. Now in trying to curb that effect, there are certain therapeutic measures I’ve placed along my path and doesn’t it seem to work out just fine? Speaking of which, early morning workouts (aerobics) does the trick. That’s my little ‘K.O’ for laziness or eccentric sleep as the case may be. And through the years I found out that experience does help one create or form his/her own K.O, so if you don’t have one yet, don’t worry, time might just do the trick for you until it becomes your magic wand. Tell you what; I have this friend who would slap himself often on the cheek while driving whenever it gets a little drowsy, “different tricks for different folks, different hooks for different notes”… lol(pls disregard my rather obnoxious but frisky attitude… was I rapping??? uhhhh).

Believe you me, trying to fight something that often times seem bigger than you is no doddle (oh thank God for words mehn… 🙂 ) at all, it’s like fighting a billion legions with only but 300spartans but guess what? It’s not in the movies…lol. For what it’s worth, it’s ok to be afraid sometimes, but letting it override you, that just kills your drive, devours your confidence, and makes you less than half the person you were actually supposed to be. An actor once said, “Courage isn’t the absence of fear, it is the presence of fear, yet the will to go on” (Martin Lawrence in the movie Black Night). So, see it this way, as a pin stuck underneath your foot, the pin is fear, and pulling it out, your will to go on.
Think about it, yes you are afraid, but don’t just get comfortable being stuck in it!

-$nowball.

The Bachelor “I Can Do All… By Myself”

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I finally moved into my small apartment in say late April this year, so needless to say though, for the past three months… only? (Thought I’d been here a year already?) I’d been staying on my own. And isn’t that strange? This would be my first time of actually renting an apartment outside the family circle, just me and me alone. I’ve always wanted out though but well time and issues never did give me that chance until now (maybe that’s coz this time is the right… :)) cos who knows?

As a bachelor, young (whoa did I just say young? smh) and determined to make a difference, every day is a battle, but then again there are things I’ve come to understand over this short period, so many of them, with time being tops.

I was never good with that thing called time; we just never struck a balance (oh I feel so ashamed…), cos while I was always on the run trying to catch it, it ran faster than Usain da Bolt and was always impossible for me to catch up, and if you were one that was always on time? Then I’m afraid you and I could have never been on the same team… (Sorry if I ever kept you waiting and I mean it…lol). And that was the case even while I was still in school, I was never having complete sheets of drawings for studio submissions, I really didn’t have time management skills right from the onset. But has that really changed? Hmmmm I could say it sure has (I get to work early at least, most times… :)).

Speaking time management, I never gave a darn about priorities as regards immediate attention, what makes me go to work late sometimes isn’t that I got out of bed late but the simple fact that maybe I’d been trouble shooting since 4: am and didn’t want to leave until I’d reached a certain degree, and how did I end up there anyway? I would just do the right things at the wrong times, or no! I let the right things overlap into the wrong times and don’t take note, yeah maybe that sounds better. But of course am not alone in this game, I can tell you that much, where are my architects, cos time is just never enough. And that being said, I often than not find myself entrapped in a whole bunch of cacophonies until its morning before I get to realize that… time is just never enough.

Another thing I’ve come to also realize with staying alone or being a bachelor in my case is this; intuition. For the most part, you’re just gonna be all by yourself, no one around, meaning you’re gonna have to be the one asking the darn questions and answering them all at the same time. The other day I was stuck in this lil ordeal yeah where I needed to give some stuff to my neighbor, I kept on deliberating whether or not to go give them whatever it was I wanted to, and though I finally found a way around it eventually, boy it took me quite some dreadful time. Thus you’re gonna need some quick intuitive skills to counter the awful time factor.

And this, for some strange reason is my favourite part, “Food”… Just talking about this one gives me goose bumps on my skin, I am considered the worst cook/ chef in my family, (as my sisters rate me) but to me, ain’t nobody badder than I… lol. Yeah I said it, nobody badder!!!
I’m always elated going into the kitchen these days, but only one thing bugs me like hell in the kitchen –doing the dishes! (oh I hate this part right here… Just singing…lol). Most times I look at the dishes and I’m like yuck, I need a dishwasher… like badly. And even when I didn’t hate cooking that much, the time it takes me to cook often drives me crazy… I get pissed at it sometimes, I remember spending a whole weekend in the kitchen, yup in the kitchen; like Saturday and Sunday all ended in the kitchen simply because on Saturday I had a bunch of freaks colleagues come around the house who met me frying chips and wanted in, then on Sunday of course I had to make stew after church so… you do the math, I turned around and my whole weekend was gone. Yes I’m enjoying every piece of this whole wonderful adventure of mixing things, experimenting on meals and stuff but hey, this drama of ‘before the meal gets done’ and ‘after the meal gets done’ is freaking me out. Needless to say I don’t like roaches piling up in my kitchen like a bunch of dish washers, hell no!!! (Besides I hate roaches)…
Hey its a few minutes before 3: am and tomorrow’s… Oops!!! Its tomorrow already mehn, gotta run people! Talk to y’all soon… 🙂

Is He Back??? Maybe…

Hmmmm… it’s been quite awfully long since my last words struck your eyes and I’m sure my friend and “personal person” (she knows herself, wish I could use my favourite bbm smiley right now..lol) is a bit disappointed in me for abandoning my third love this long… yeah I know it doesn’t feel right at all but hey, what can I say, I’m sorry, and I mean every word of it.

Now to start with, it’s not as if I haven’t been writing or something, no believe me I have, just that when I look at them afterwards, I kind’a get bored myself and the words don’t just connect with me, I don’t feel them; more like playing the same song over and over again. And my kind’a person, I easily get bored doing the same thing and that’s why I often than not love to try my hands on other new thingamajigs, from painting, singing, writing and all that stuff cos doing/ seeing the same thing gets me this feeling of being stuck in the mud and can barely move; like being ensnared. But with a whole bunch of stuff at my beck and call, I need not border too much cos I can easily switch into doing something else different other than that which gets me weak, exhausted, and showing off my lazy side. Needless to say though, ever since I kept shush, all my blog posts only ended up not getting published, and even if they do, they only end up on my computer or written on my jotter. That’s probably why you guys never got the chance to read them. Sorry about that though, but I promise to never stay off the grid this long ever again, I’ll try not to at least :D.

While rehearsing (my dance steps i.e) I learned some new moves, meaning I’d thought through so many things while in my lil silence and well most of them towards career building and of course family too, interesting yet so darn scary I tell you but like always, I’m gonna definitely get talking about them ASAP… Hence I’m gonna be writing about music, ARCHITECTURE (yea in caps cos the love may have increased a lil bit… lol, “The Bachelor” (whoa really? Hmmmm…), amongst others but these are the most thought after moves and to be honest with you, they scare me like mad!!!

Stick around and maybe in a few days, you’ll know just some more about stuff locked inside my head, locked inside snowballminds that make up my crazy and not so interesting story… and yeah, it’s been me, and I’m glad to be back (…